Dinner & Dance 28th August 2004

Finally... ITS OVER!

Things went surprisingly well during the vintage-themed D&D, though a few hiccups here and there were expected. Practically spent the whole evening standing up and running around on those silly boots(ouch feet ouch). I really should take on less if i can help it. Besides doing the program, overseeing it, partial emcee for lucky draw and getting the acts together, there were also two competition items i was involved in. But i think it is really worth it since people seemed to really enjoyed the evening despite going quite overtime (whole thing ended at 11.30!). The most memorable event though, was getting on stage and getting the rainbow award alongside with a wonderful teacher. I know i probably doesn't quite deserve the staff award (for exceptional performance), especially when my companion is such a great teacher but it makes me feel quite proud nonetheless. Ah well. Seems like i cant really skive off now. *rueful smile* Thanks to all those people who actually bothered to nominate me. You guys sure you all know what you all are talking about? *heh heh*

And a final thanks to my dear mm for shooting the video for the whole night. Erm, it does seem that i appeared quite often on the video ... i wonder why. *grins*

Another silly quiz...

OoooOo.. blue.. my colour! ;D


! You are most Like A Sapphire !Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have a
deepbeauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
thelimelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at thedeep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not
big-headed about it all.Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.

?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by

It is Wednesday and I...

- have two aching calves and a stiff right shoulder after last night's gym session *groan*
- just finished doing my program flow for saturday's d&d
- need to rest my eyes after staring at the computer for 2 hours *argh argh*
- am still pissed with P about happened yesterday at work
- wonder what should i wear for saturday
- miss walking in New York and the weather
- have too much things to do
- cannot remember what is it that i have forgotten
- have a craving for tao huey and you tiao
- suddenly wanted to see an old friend
- just had a msg that an ex-colleague just gave birth few minutes ago to a baby girl
- realized i shouldn't be so busy on a wednesday
- think perhaps i may not be that busy if i can take time to blog this
- really much rather be home sleeping in this rainy weather

So hard to get away...

Now that I am home... it is just so hard to get away. Plonked (hMmm plonked?!) right into work the very next day i arrived from US and activities has stopped since. Work has piled up higher and higher (as they often do... since they don't disappear just because YOU do) and there is also the added responsibilities once i am back from training. I guess one hurdle at a time, the first being yesterday's presentation to the director and principals. Nearly had a big major hiccup yesterday when my powerpoint presentation suddenly refused to be opened on monday night (suspect photo files too big... duh.. forgot to resize them) but thankfully, i managed to put one together yesterday morning (big thank you to angela for helping and no thanks for boss for telling me that my part was 'just for fun').

Ah well. As usual, more grouses against certain 'team-members' of this trip who purported told us to just give a oral presentation and not to prepare anything (still, the least i thought i could do is do a powerpoint but even that was deem too.. 'showy' at our last meeting last week) but she herself wrote a poem AND prepared projected notes for EVERYONE on the meeting. So much for "no need to do anything too dramatic". Duh.

Now... Better to concentrate on the D&D preparations. So much to coordinate but lucky for me, the other team members for this committee is really on the ball and helpful, and things are progressing smoothly. *cross fingers* :)

Wish that i could take a short break with him before he goes into reservist in early sept but looks like the next two weekends are burnt. Sighh.... sorry dear. Perhaps after that?

Ah.. back to work!

Rest of the photos...

Well... finally finish uploading and rearranging all the photos...
Phew.
There are tons of them in the last album though. :)

Here they are... Enjoy!

Home

Well... I am home after a tiring 18hrs flight from NYC. Had a really jetlaggy day before having to report in to work on wednesday. Work has already been hectic the minute i came back and i think i wont have much luxury to blog about my two days in NY though i will put up the photos soon.

NYC was fantastic and for the short time i had there, i really focused on what i wanted to do and i am pleased to say that there was no regrets whatsoever even though i did not get to see the statue of liberty and the world trade centre site. I visited the natural history museum and the Met, as well as spent luxurious saturday/sunday mornings in central park. I even caught a play at broadway on saturday night (Sly Fox) and had a nice walk down at greenich village for a late sunday brunch. I don't think i could ask for more than that with the time i had.

Spent most of the time on my own because the rest either had no idea what they wanted to do or rather leave earlier on sunday to go shopping near the airport. It seems like a waste of time to me because we were in NY for god sakes. But then, everyone have their priorities, even if it seems a little sad to me to sleep in early in NY on a saturday night instead of being down at times square soaking up the atmosphere. Ah well...

Okie. Back to work.

Day 1 in NYC

Wow...

seems like so many people was, is, will be in New York.
Cool.
Can't wait to get my butt there as well!
Just so pissed that i couldn't get leave from work (duh duh duh) to stay till end of next week.
Sigh.

Day 14

There is only so much one can squeeze into a day and today, it was so stuffed that i'm sure if today was a shirt, it would have burst it's buttons.

Did that make sense? :)

I was the 'hands-on' person today and worked on establishing an independent task through restructuring as well as structuring a new activity in a new environment. The child was one of the lower-level child they had and operated on a purely object-level transition object. He was pretty passive but such a handsome face. He was fantastic with the individual 'put-in' tasks and transit to areas well with some familiar objects. Initially the restructured task we had was a bit too unfamiliar for him (we changed too much component) but the second time we restructured it, he got it down pat the very first time! *HURRAH!* I was so proud of him and we all cheered (while silently la... because cannot disturb the other children doing their work too).

For the second activity, we had to structure the environment out so that he was able to put away his placemat and cup after he finished eating on his own. He has never done that. We tried to make the transition as smooth for him as possible, though he needed some prompts eventually, he did show greater understanding and was able to complete some steps on his own (e.g. putting the cups into the basket). And this was a child who had severe motor planning issues! It was also so funny to see his little face light up when i showed him the transition object (a cassette filled with some skittles) and he immediately knew he had to go to the snack area. Will definately implement some of this ideas with the kids in school who needs them.

The round up for today's session was a dinner at the sheraton's with the trainers and some adults with high functioning autism. Some of the adults (like last week) were just as independent and one even wrote a children story book and worked as a teaching assistant at the local school for autistic children. One of the guys at my table worked in a testing laboratory and told us an amazing story of how he met his girlfriend (who is also a high-functioning autistic adult) and how he felt when he was diagnosed at 19 after having a label of being intellectually disabled all his life. It was also touching how much 'emotions' he has for his girlfriend when all the while we had thought that ASD individuals are so 'emotionally-challenged'.

Of course, there were some social awkwardness such as poor grasp during handshake and poorer eye contact but it was so hard to tell that some has autism on the first or even second look! In particular, there was one guy who worked in accounts and had a graduate degree in geography, we talked about clean fuel, travels and he made jokes and was also very witty. In fact, i couldn't believe he was autistic and would have thought that he was just quite shy and reserved. Just like my sentiments last week at the adults supper club, if any of my kids can grow up to become like these unique individuals, i would be so.. SO happy.

This has been a truly enriching trip. I know i have been wanting to go home and all that (well, i still do), but i wouldn't regret coming here. In fact, if possible, i would like to come again, perhaps for the module 2 training. I guess we'll just have to see...

No photos today because all the 60 something photos on my computer for today are all tasks and activities designed for kids. Doubt anyone will be interested. :D

Day 13

Today's topic for training was communication. Our group had a good time observing the child and designing a specific task to help the child in directing her initiation to interact appropriately because though she had plenty of language, she was usually not using it very well to communicate with others. Hence she often has delayed echolalia or tends to label things around her. We observed that she did once or twice tried to initiate to interact with her peers but never did follow through with that effort and often she couldn't even request appropriately without some form of visual cues. It was a very good exercise in term of taking needful data (in this case, a communication sample) and coming up with a task that specifically aimed at targetting on the emerging skills (while incorporating the interest). It was wonderfully successful and it was great to see the smile on the little girl's face when she finally managed to get her intention across and see her engaging with others purposefully.

Okie... Hands up if no one understood all that.

*grins*
I had a great day and it was great because i felt like i did something good. It wasn't anything dramatic but it made a difference. And that made me feel like the king (hMm queen) of the world, and i did it with people whom i enjoyed working with (okie... not necessary colleagues *heh heh*). In fact the days were just so pack filled with activities that even though it was tiring, you hardly feel it there and then because you would be so busy! I enjoy the energy despite the fact that i need 3 cups of black coffee (i usually only have 1 back home but it is really diluted here *urgh*) to function in the morning. I also had a chance to eat lunch with the little girl we were working with today and it was just plain fun. She was a really sweet girl. Too bad, we couldn't take any pictures.

Dinner was with one of the singaporean phd student at UNC whom we knew long before and used to work in the hospital. He and his wife ate with us at Crook's Corner (aka hogs'head - just going by the deco infront of the place) and later brought us to UNC for a stroll while pointing out some of the buildings to us. The food was fantastic (mainly southern cruisine) and we were so stuffed that we had to be rolled out of the door. It was a relaxing dinner and no one talked about work *yay*! It was nice to walk around the campus in the evening and though it was pretty quiet (being summer holidays and all), we did saw a live band gig (jazz music) while some people gathered around the lawn to listen. It was peaceful and serene, there were also plenty of fireflies. Makes me wish i am back in school again, though not quite in UNC because the town is just way too quiet (aka ulu) for me.

I need a more vibrant atmosphere... which is perhaps why London worked really well for me, with it's nice blend of the old/quirky, peaceful parks and 'happening' events. Geez. I miss it already. I think i do feel a sense of belonging to an old city like that, where one can afford to be an individual and dip in and out of the current whenever one feels like it. In singapore, you tend to have to 'plug' into the system whether you like it or not. In melbourne and NC, it is the trouble of finding a place to 'plug in'. *chuckles*

But, sadly, i don't think i will have much chance of doing all that (i.e. study) back in london again. Guess, its just too expensive. I bet wilk miss it too (don't you dear?). *smiles* Well, maybe one day (I hear you say).

Right. Photos time!

I am pretty small...

in the general scheme of things...

Despite all my ranting and ravings, i do have a pretty 'easy' job, not quite your bomb specialist or nuclear physicist or A&E doctor. The things or people i come into contact with, some despite their disabilities, are still generally a cheerful, upbeat lot. Sure where i work, we have our difficulties and problems (geez, i even have a complain or two about a couple of people *heh heh*) but we are still in our little protected little circle.

I lead a good life. A mainly-wholesome one at that. I don't smoke or party/drink too much. I have regular friends (well, most of them i think, except for a couple of nutheads) and a mostly functional (than dysfunctional, though at times i do wonder about that) family. I have a dog and a cat. I have a car and a nice roof over my head. At the age of 28, i may not have many savings but i am not in debt of any kind. I don't overspend (hell, i don't even like to shop!) and knows my credit limit.

I have a great relationship with a caring guy whom i think i can share my life with, which i worked at for many years (and finally paid off). I don't come into contact with death or sadness as often as i think i do. I had my share of trials and suffered through my 'valleys of depressions' but there were always a helping hand even when i least expected it.

I don't hold big thoughts though sometimes i think i can. It is humbling when i meet people who has sacrificed and people who in my mind, are great people. Not so much by the materials that they have acquired but by the qualities and what they have given to others. And there are so many people like that. Like the therapist who had worked 27 years and has an interest in politics. Like the middle-age lady who is so proud to have held on to a job for 15 years despite being autistic. Like the guy who quit his high-paying job just to travel and volunteer.

So many of them.

And so, i am small. In my itsy bitsy way. Secure and snug at times.

This blog is my indulgent i know and i write about all these little things that mean so little in the bigger scheme of things. I know. I am aware of that. But i am aware too of other things. But just seldom 'self-less' enough to look beyond myself to put it down into words here.

I miss my cat...

I wonder how is ruski doing.
Did he try to jump out of the window again?
Did he over-eat?
Did he try to scratch my drawers?
Did anyone play with him?

sigh.

I also wonder how's sambar...
I hope he is doing okie.
Not sick or anything.
One of his eyes was quite red when i left, i wonder how is it now.
Geez.
Did he throw up while i was gone?

hmmmmmm....

Can someone help me go check? :(

Day 12

Long day, but short blog.
It was tiring but exhilarating, the training i mean. We got a chance to work with a child and learnt about informal assessment. Very enriching and we had to 'unlearn' some of our previously held concepts. But it was great, especially for the teachers. Dinner was macdonalds in the hotel room while we had a lively discussion. I think our thoughts are finally coming together and we are reaching the same platform. Finally! A breakthrough! Hallelujah!

So tired now but relieve and happy.
I think we are going to make it ladies and gentlemen despite my personal feelings for certain people. At least we are doing what we are doing for the same reasons. Sigh.

No pictures today because we are not suppose to take photos of the child.
Besides, i had no time. *grins*

I wonder how weather is like in singapore. Luckily hurricane alex just passed offshore (they name their hurricanes! the first one always starts with letter A and so on and so forth). But another one is coming in its wake. So happening meterologically (is this the right term?). Another long day tomorrow and another, and another. Then NEW YORK!

On elaine's loss...

You know.. i know how that is... and hard it is to get over losing something so precious despite the fact that it may be some inexpensive piece of costume jewellery. It is the significance it holds for oneself. This is exactly how i felt when i lost the very first necklace he put on me the day we left for london, at the beginning of the r/s. I never took the necklace off and it went everywhere.. i think it was the first gift he has ever given me as a couple and it IS special. So the day the necklace fell off without me noticing it, i was a wreck. Totally and completely. Especially when it was at a time when our r/s was rocky. I blamed myself over and over again. Despite the fact that afterwards he surfed the internet and got me a new one which was quite like the old one, it was not quite the same. The attachment just wasn't there anymore. No matter how much i tried and before long, the new necklace tarnished and i never felt like i needed it to be replaced... and i still missed the old one so.. So much...

I still have the other piece of jewellery of significance for me (my trinity ring) though the necklace will always have a special place in my heart because it was the first. But i have come to also realized that my attachment to the person, as objectified by the necklace, is still there and that too, never changed. I guess it is important too despite the loss, and that helped me move on.

Dear elaine, I don't know if it makes any sense.. but i really feel for your loss. *hugz*

Day 11

A new day starting with another round of new training conducting at the holiday inn hotel down the road. The training thus far reinforced all the previous knowledge i had from other conferences but there are fresh insights here and there. It was pretty helpful but i still think that the training at Wilmington was more helpful and indepth because of the smaller group where we can have more focus on what we lack. Now there are about 20 participants and they all came from various states with different background, so the information were slightly more general. Perhaps tomorrow, when we move into the classroom teaching where each group of 5 will have a real child to work with, it will be more interesting.

There was a clear distinction between the two schools today where we will sit in different groups for lunch and so on... but it is okie for me. The main thing now is now to make our school's program a better one. That IS a challenge and E and I are pretty geared up for it despite others' being patronizing about it and constantly tell us not to worry etc. We also heard from some parents during today's training and it is abit sad to find out what the struggles they go through and a little bit comforted for our parents back home that things are not necessary better over here compared to back home. The same issues such as financial support, lack of resources, waiting time, exist here just as well. So our parents aren't really in such a bad shape after after all.

After the training ended, we had a wine and cheese reception back at the sheraton's and we met Dr Gary M. who came to singapore before, as well as Kenneth who worked at KK the last time. We will also have a dinner reception on thursday where some adults with autism will join us. So that's the plan for the rest of the week before we fly off to New York on saturday. I wish it would be sooner so that i can go home! *grins* Ah well. Time for a bit of rest before the boss ask us all in to her room for a 'discussion' in an hour's time (by now, it is more like 'them' telling us what 'they' think needs to be done, rather than something of a reciprocal nature).

Had a glass of wine and feeling quite relax, so shan't try to fight with anyone.
Just chilling... heh heh heh

View photos : Pictures from day 9 - 11

PS: the discussions went okie with everyone having a turn to share. Y was quite quiet in general which was surprising but the P still pretty clueless. Ah...

Day 10

Had a relaxing day by myself and slept in for a bit (well, relatively if you consider sleeping till 9am as sleeping in). The others gathered in my 'previous' room (the twin bedded room i shared with E) for breakfast because that's where all our groceries were dumped before my boss went to check us into a smaller room with one single king sized bed. It wasn't too bad, as long as E or I don't snore or flop around, i think we'll managed. It even has a little balcony facing the pool where i can hang off clothes to dry. Mavellous. The only glitch was when my boss saw how 'nice' the room was, contemplated moving into that room instead with Y and D by getting in another roll-in bed. *sheesh* Some people just wants to have the better deal i guess. Thankfully no one really paid any attention.

Returned the car to the airport. E's friend was so kind to let me follow his car and then he drove me back to the hotel before both of them went off to do their own thing. The others wanted to wait for me in the hotel but then i thought, "what for?" since i am not sure if i wanted 'company'. Told them to go on ahead and do what they want while i returned the car. When i got back, relaxed abit by the pool, went for a swim, wrote wilk a postcard and ordered in room service (fantastic alfredo pasta and cheesecake $23 in all) while i watched The Sum of All Fears on cable. Hey, i could think of worse things to spend my time.

My 3 other colleagues arrived and herded off to explore shopping places (shakes head). I am perhaps the only oddball in the company. After i finished my food and movie, strolled out and hitch a free ride on the hotel shuttle to franklin street where i explored the campus of university of north carolina for 2 hours and hanged out at Ben&Jerry's for abit having a double scoops of dublin mudslide and choc chip cookie dough. YUmMmmy. And deliciously peaceful too. Without hawks preying on cheap bargains.

I know i sound terribly insolent. I really ought to be more mindful (what if any of them read this?!) but then, it is tough travelling with people not like-minded like yourself or share any similar interests. Worse still, treat you patronizingly as if you are a child and consider my main flaw to be my lack of humility. Being young does not mean i am ignorant or immature or not humble. Perhaps i am terribly ungracious because i don't really try to make myself "fit in" just for the sake of being 'normal'. Arrogant? Perhaps a tad bit but then i just don't feel like making myself liked by people whom i have no interest of. And the more i 'know' them, the least incline i am to try to do so. In a lot of ways, during normal conversations, i find myself not being understood by them because... their understanding of what interest me is so limited while i am just as uncomprehending of what's the best bargain on shoes and kiddie clothes.

Maybe, i am just too independent for these people and feel restricted in a lot of ways, which explains all these resentments but that's the way i am. I feel bound to a group which i do not enjoy being with or appreciate their so-called superior 'quality'. That irks me to some extent, hence trying as much as possible to keep aloof other than work purposes. I don't see why i ought to stay 'within' their boundaries just because we came here on the same 'mission'. So much for following group dynamics.

Won't up load any pictures today because it isn't worth the trouble lugging down my laptop when i have only got 38 pictures in my camera. Perhaps when i have more...

@$#(*&!

Bloody hotel disconnected me and made me lose my post!
FuCK!

I got arthur!

Nancy, one of our trainer at wilmington who enjoys talking about politics, came by the hotel yesterday and dropped off a book by arthur miller about the art of acting and politics. An interesting dissection of current politicians and the need to put on a persona during elections. She is just so nice and i really enjoyed learning from her and talking to her. She is such an interesting character and i think the trainers are really what made this whole trip worthwhile. Hopefully they will all come to singapore one day.

Day 9

The worse has happened...
Dumb hotel has not free internet access in their rooms!
*#$&@(*&

Oh well. The business centre do provide computers for the guests' use but then this ancient IBM doesn't support java so i can't even use my icq2go. Drats. I am so... so... SO not pleased. The rooms here are also smaller... and instead of twin beds, my boss is going to move me and E to a room with one king sized bed tomorrow to save cost. I guess if 3 of them is sharing the same sized room as us now, we shouldn't really be 'enjoying' ourselves by having more space. Especially since the other 3 girls arriving tomorrow will be in the same predicament. Yes. I truly see the point of everyone suffering together. It's all about be FAIR right? I'll bet my boss won't be moving rooms if we switched places. *close eyes* *groan*

Okie okie. I am just being grumpy. Shucks. Must be the afternoon sun.

Anyway, now i am in chapel hill, sheraton hotel after a hard day drive up from Wilmington. There was a couple of really heavy thunderstorms along the way which sort of reminded me of how it was when we drove in the snowstorm in scotland. The visibility was terrible and roads were slippery. Thank goodness i did not get anyone killed. Stopped halfway at smithfield so that others could go shopping at the carolina factory outlets. It was a whole stretch of outlets from GAP to levi. Okie. First up, I did not get anyone anything. So don't anyone bug me about not getting 'cheap' branded goods and what nots. It was hot and humid and i was already feeling damn pissed about it. I had to occupy myself 3 whole hours while others laden their hands with more and more purchases. Not my kind of day. In fact i was so bored, i slept in the car, in the HOT SUN (where else could i go? there wasn't any airconditioned sitting/waiting area!) for almost an hour. What a rotten experience.

Dragged myself out of the car to show a semblence of interest to keep people from gossiping about my already "anti-social" behaviour. Did go into Levis to try and get into the mood of things by trying on some jeans. Tough luck. Adult cut stopped short at size 6 which was still 1 size (at least) too big for me. And the juniors? They only had hipster/low cut jeans which i didn't like. Met Y and went off to fossils with her and got a couple of t-shirts for wilk and my brothers only because i felt like i ought to be a little more 'participative' (& the fact that they 'only' cost $9.99ea). I did eventually got a fossil leather wallet there for myself because i don't have one. So there you go. One wallet and 4 t-shirts. I am soooo... pathetic.

Weather (other when it was raining) was clear, with cornflower blue skies and brilliant sunshine. Along the way, i finally encountered my first roadkill (a raccoon, and i didn't do it) and for the first time, saw a herd of cows which was pretty unusual because unlike UK or aussie, there is hardly any livestock to be seen while driving along the roads. Maybe i am in the wrong state (ha! ha! ha!).

Arrived at chapel hill around 7pm (still bright!) only because we took about 4 hours to shop and 3 hours for driving. It is such a crazy day. And now i don't even get the internet in my room!! Shit. So no more uploading of photos for the time being. Not that it matters since it is really New York which i will take most personal photos. This place really don't have much to offer in terms of photo opportunities (especially since we will be stuck in training).

Had dinner at a chinese place called Charlies. Not fantastic but then you know how chinese food are in the small towns of america. I will be surprise if it was anywhere near decent. Ah well. E has a friend who flew in from oklahoma to see here and i have no idea where she is now or if she will even come back. HmMMmm.... Oh well, that means i will get the tv to myself then.

Returning the car tomorrow because it will be unnecessary for the coming week. The dumb thing is that i have to drive the car back to the Raleigh-Durham airport a couple of miles away because Thrifty doesn't operate a outlet here. After returning the car, will have to make our way back here from the airport. Sigh.

Can't wait to fly to new york next weekend!